What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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