Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
