I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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