At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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