So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize