I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
