I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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