Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need a beard to bite.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
