He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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