if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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