just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize