Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
