Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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