Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
