You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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