sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
