suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
