***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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