i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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