Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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