did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
