sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i now understand why vodka
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
