He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
