Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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