I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
