so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
