So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
