he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
