Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
