so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
