Nicole vs. Life
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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