My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize