Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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