i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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