Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
