covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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