Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
