marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
