wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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