I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
