Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
two words...techno handjob
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
