i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
