my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
