I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
