he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
how drunk are you?
Several
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
