I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
