alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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