I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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