they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
