Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
