I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
