Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
