Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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