My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
