Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
