i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
