yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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