Me too!
I'm jealous of your bromance
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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