Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
