i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize