omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
