The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
