her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
