Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
