I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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