whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
