is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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