don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
